She's Gay, So What?

I received this personal mail that simply broke my heart, some days ago. It came from an aunty of mine, a very strong woman, who is also an award winning writer, and one of the smartest, nicest people I know (I am posting with her permission):

“This is just a note of appeal for you to lend your voice in condemning the possible passing of a bill that would violate a basic human right: the right of adults to their private affairs, it would be greatly appreciated. The debate on the passing of this horrendous bill begins on Wednesday, February the 14th in Abuja.

Please be a voice for the voiceless; be a voice for a group of people who do not necessary fall into the shade of black or white. A group of people who found themselves in the gray area of life, not by choice but by providence. As a sister, as a daughter, as a mother, as an aunt, as a friend, I am one of such repressed voices. Please, assist in making me visible. Give me a voice.”

Now if this doesn’t touch you, a cry from one human soul to the next; then I wonder what will …

I had promised myself I wouldn’t be drawn into any gay debate in Nigeria because it really is a draining one. When you see sound intellectuals who don’t even want to talk about it; and if you speak too much about it, they begin to look at you with disdain, then the point hits home. Sometimes they are people you respect; people who are very deep and very cosmopolitan and very progressive in EVERY OTHER respect except this: when it comes to this matter of sexuality they clam up. For them it is a deeply personal matter – just like for me.

Arguing it therefore never leads anywhere, except resentment.

So I decided not to stick my neck that far out any longer. After all, wetin concern agbero with overload? In any case, it is very easy to be gay (just as it is quite easy to live a double life) as long as you are responsible and sensible and no one would ever know about it. But after getting this mail I knew I couldn’t play the ostrich. It is one thing to ban gay marriages and to refuse recognition for gays, but after some quick research I found out that this Bill is actually INSANE.

If passed into Law, it will ban gays from being seen in public, as well as ban association with anyone who is gay. You must know that this law includes those who are ‘closet’ gays; so those of you who have such friends, when you fraternize with them, you stand the risk of jail!

Even worse, reading a book that has gay themes, watching movies, etc with a gay person (we are talking Will & Grace, Desperate Housewives, The Devil Wears Prada, Monster, and of course Brokeback Mountain), reading a website that promotes homosexuality, amongst others could land you in jail!


Bree Van De Kamp's son, Andrew - "Gay-themed" character in Desperate Housewives



In other words: this Law seeks to completely ban the gay reality. A reality that is neither new nor negligible in Nigeria: a country that has thousands of gay millionaires, gay actors, gay clubs, gay politicians, gay parties – and has had them for decades.

As at the last count, I know at least 25 people, living in Nigeria who are the most wonderful and the most brilliant people I know – and they are gay. I may have reservations about their orientation, but that doesn’t translate into sitting back and allow an insensitive government pass a legislation that calls them criminals!

I am drained already. I really don’t want to argue this anymore. The thing is, it should be pretty self-evident; it is one thing to detest gay people, but to say they cannot LIVE?

Incidentally, just a few days ago, the new FARAFINA Magazine came out, and in it there is an interview I did with an openly gay Nigerian guy (the first such comprehensive interview, I hear) who came out on the NTA Network via New Dawn with Funmi Iyanda (and the show got penalized for that, by the way) about two years ago. I read that interview again right now and I can only feel intense anger for those who think that gay people are less than them just because of their sexuality.

Because I really, truly can’t go through all that emotional energy or making the points, I am going to post an article I wrote in THISDAY some years ago, that deals with the issue extensively. It is quite different/interesting for the fact that it uses the same premises that anti-gay people use, to destroy their arguments.

Of course when it was published, it attracted a DELUGE of comments from both sides of the divide (which also proved to me that there is as considerable a number of Nigerians IN Nigeria who are not anti-gay as there are those who are), and my email address was practically crying from the fire and thunder. I expect the same to happen now.

No matter what side of the divide you belong; I think you will find the piece … stimulating. (I will attach it in a few hours).

What's Hot, and What's Even Hotter!

"Back in Law School, down with a cold, trying to adjust and bored as hell" - That's the story of my life right now!

Anyways sha, that hasn't stopped me from being SO passionate about a lot of things right now - and angry too! - but I'm here wondering which of those opinions I should torture you with first!

In the meantime, I am SO feeling 2face's See Me So right now. I listened to it no less than a hundred times (no exaggeration) over the weekend. Forget his bad grammar, that guy is deeeep.

Will blog about why I think so before the week ends. But after weeks and months of cynicism, I must say that his sophomore album (apart from the silly skit!) runs on so much depth I just want to hug him and say 'Thank you'!

Speaking of music, West African Idols is IT!!! I thought BBN (Big Brother Nigeria Nigeria) was the best thing ever to happen to TV here? Well, I didnt reckon with this! I was SO scared our Idols would be such a disappointment, but I am so glad to tell you that the show ROCKS!

First, I am glad to report that we do have our own version of young colourful characters (read zany!), and the auditions were hilarious. My friend Mike Magic I was scared was going to flop (going by his AMBO record) but he is just great. Plus we do have so much talent in Nigeria it makes me proud (some of the singing gave me chills), and the production quality of the show is international Idol standard - I am so proud to say!

The judges are FANTASTIC! Of course, ever since I had Dede on New Dawn with Gbolahan (MyTalkingBeginnings) and Funmi interviewing (or rather Dede attacking) some new music group some two years ago, I have always said anytime Idols comes to Nigeria, Dede must be Simon! He's great on the show.

Dan Foster, I was getting ready to hate him, but he is SO my favourite! He has that happy-go-lucky feel of Randy Jackson, but with so much more depth. And he is really, genuinely nice. And his face is So fun to watch! Sometimes he is the forgiving grandfather, the caring elder brother: he makes great TV.

Nana is good for contrast, though I'm not too fond of her. Bella Naija says she's better than Paula Abdul, and I say no - give me Paula anyday; she makes great TV! Nana tries to prove too much that she understands music ... but she doesnt! At least Paula doesnt pretend to; and spends more time polishing her wit. But that having been said, them three are great together on the show.

I don't agree with A LOT of their decisions though: there are some people they didnt allow through that i thought 'WHAT?!', there were some who they allowed through which i thought was really REALLY wrong, and I am upset that they are 'discriminating' against root Nigerian music in favour of R&B, but hey that's my opinion. I am sure if I was a judge, A LOT of people would disagree with me. Music, afterall, is really a matter of 'I like. I dont like'. Plus there were some people who could sing, but i really am not sure I want to see their faces on a constant basis! So there.

But oh I so wish I was in Lagos and in the thick of things right now! And I so envy those judges!!!!! Some people have accused me of being bitchy when I analyzed the BBN housemates on the show last year, and I only laughed at them because they dont realize that was me at my tamest! (Lol). Put me on Idols, and I'll show Simon how to be NASTY!!!

All this is just to say: great show, great great great show. You should see it. Bella Naija has some clips on her blog - so you can check that out.

By the way, you can (finally!) check up "The Future... Awards" Winners After-Party pictures on www.purefoto.com ...

One Week in Lagos!!!

Okay, so its gist time ...

I am a sucker for real-life drama, and obviously so are a lot of you, so here’s a dose of real life; the make-or-break meeting with Miss Girlfriend? Well, the ‘break’ happened! I’m not going to tell you the why and how, because she has ‘warned’ me not to over-blog about it so that “no one kills me o!”; even though that no one who actually sees her will want to do any of that: she’s one of the prettiest things on earth, that’s apart from being one of the TV personalities that people like to like (that’s all the clues you’re getting, sorry!)

But suffice it to say that it’s amazing what we allow fear and doubt do to us – control us, define us, and maybe consume us. And I am talking about myself too. I don’t think the reality of it has dawned yet though cos I’m still not feeling all the doom and gloom yet – maybe cos we still talk like everyday? But I will miss her sorely. Much more than she things. If only she knew …

So how was my Val’s Day? Well I sent off a small thingie, but had to cut out all the other grand ideas for the day (now, that hurt!). Ironically, my psycho ex called me the night before and so together she and I took the gift to the office of my new ex, and generally had a blast driving around Lagos on Val’s Day. Of course me and this psycho ex are mutually too psycho for each other so even though we’re so fond off each other; no way! But carrying a very pretty girl in the car throughout THE day, you can never go wrong. So it wasn’t all sorrow and sadness for me.

In unrelated developments, I HATE Lagos! Christ! I’ve just spent weeks outside Lagos, and I can’t understand how I ever survived this dysfunction, degenerating city. Lagos is UNBEARABLE! People are LIVING in traffic! To go and do interviews on the Island I spent HOURS on the road, in the traffic – I was so frustrated!

Anyways, did an interview with the ‘Almighty’ Yemi Osindero of Virgin. Very cool guy. And of course I made sure to express my ‘upset’ that Virgin didn’t sponsor our event at the end of the day! However, it is always a refreshing difference to find Marketing managers who are really nice - usually those guys are full of their own importance – but people like Yemi, Nkiru Olumide-Ojo, Mrs. Iquo Ukoh and co are amazing in their 'down-to-earthedness'.

Also I (of course!) visited the True Love office (by the way I really don’t want to add my voice to Jeremy’s attack on TL in Naijablog since Kemi has given a good response, but suffice it to say that he should have looked at his words before posting them, really) and met ‘my’ crowd. Was great to see everyone, and it made me miss all the excitement of the interviews and the photo shoots etc - and that’s what makes coming to Lagos worth it, the people, not the city!

Sighted the next cover model (of course I can’t tell you!), Funlola Aofiyebi, Bayo Haastrup, Yemi Akerele (Entrepreneur of the Year - Beauty and Style) and others. Also did some catching up with Ebun Olatoye (who is like the Asst. Editor); who is my Number One gossip partner, so of course we had some gossip exchange!

("My people!" - Ebun is first from back)


Ebun is one of the people I have really deep affection for. She’s also one of the people who I know for sure have my back – and for no reason. She reads this blog so she’ll be knowing this for the first time, but Ebun was mainly responsible fopr the crucial turn in my life from ‘wasting my talent’ to ‘making some real money’, and all these she did in that her unselfish, unselfconscious way.

What else? Oh, talking about the not-so-good, I really just have to get this off my chest! Why do people allow bile eat them up so much? Went to visit one of my ‘aunties’, who is upset with me for no justifiable reason, and she just generally ignored my greeting – in the presence of everyone!! No one noticed fortunately cos her friends and staff were basically glad to see me around, but I just thought … I came all the way to her place, canceling two crucial appointments and going against my way just to say hello, and someone who I am the one who is actually supposed to be very angry at her is giving this?! I SO wanted to be upset at her, but funny enough I only felt so sad. It also re-enforced to me just how much I should rid bitterness from my own life. Really.

Anyways, so the week, like I said was a delightful mix of the good, the bad and the ugly and I had fun.

And, right now I AM having fun! Unfortunately I cant tell you all about it, cos this post is long already. But, I am at The Future… Awards After-Party at the Miccom Resotrt in Osun State alongside Tara Fela-Durotoye, Denrele Edun, Gbenga Sesan and others and it IS a blast! My body still aches from all that dancing past midnight yesterday – I shall put up pictures so you just see for yourselves.

We’ll be out of here by afternoon, and it’s back to the real, stressful, struggling world. How was your week? Cheers.

I know, I know!

Hallo!

I'm SO SO sorry I haven't posted anything new. It's rude, I know! It's the Lagos madness - I have been trying to do a million things all at the same time, and the traffic is senseless!!!

In the meantime, those of you calling me privately and sending me emails to get the gist of the 'make-or-break' meeting with Miss Girlfriend on sunday, shame on you! If I want to talk, I will blog about it. Luckily for you, I want to talk!

I'm in Lagos now. PLENTY Gist: Good, very good, bad and very ugly. On my way to the Miccom Resorts now for the Awards Winners Party; so once i get there, you'll get the download, by tomorrow!

But if you want to hear me shoot my mouth off, you can check out my last article on the Just Jisting column of the Awards website: http://www.thefuturenigeria.com/noticeboard/just-jisting/2007-01-28/ as well as all the inside gist from the event. I hope the Web guy has downloaded the pictures by now sha...

Take care people, and thanks for all the comments!

A Little Gossip … (And Hopefully, Nuggets of Wisdom!)

(Unfortunately, this too is quite a long piece, but there’s a lot of juicy gist in it and I didn’t want to cut all of that off, eh?!)

There are plenty of laudable reasons I started the Thisday column, Sons & Daughters, but there was also a selfish part. Wide-eyed teenager that I was then, I believed it would make it easier to find a space in the social ladder.

Dumebi Agbakoba (Will be in Sons & Daughters tomororow)

What I wanted to do with that space if and when I eventually got it, I don’t think I knew for sure. But did I get what I sought? Well, there were varying results – and I will drop some names, trust me! Some of them have become real friends, like Morenike (Dr. Rasheed Gbadamosi’s daughter), there’s Solape (Governor Agagu’s daughter) who took me as some kind of ‘aburo’, Gbolahan (Sen. Obanikoro’s son) and I now have a distant mutual-respect friendship, and how could I ever forget how SHOCKED I was when Charly Boy said yes, I could take his teenage daughter, Adaeze, on a date?! But of course not all have ended well; Zemaye for instance, and Bimbo Adenuga (I still don’t understand what happened here, I had all her numbers both here and in the UK and her emails and suddenly I couldn’t reach her on ANY of them!).

When I started, I was much enamoured by wealth and wealthy people. I still am, but my fascination is much healthier, thank God. I do the column with more wisdom now: no more puppy-eyed questions, no sucking up, definitely no more of being patronized by kids who might be smart, yes, but when it gets down to it, really should be listening to me (Note: This is NOT my ego speaking!).

I can’t deny the power and importance of wealth. It is certainly a good thing that rich kids are able to go to the best schools, have capital to start good businesses and something to fall back if they make a mistake. Heck, if I had a father with plenty of money and contacts at the highest levels of the blue chips, can you imagine how much more of a grand success something like “The Future…” Awards would be? But the point is, no more respect for people who have money just for the sake of it.

A friend was having issues with her boss, a popular young publisher that typifies all style and no substance. This is also a guy said to have hit money by sleeping with older woman, coupled with the fact that his English is so bad I wouldn’t let him write the obituaries in my paper. But he had the guts to talk down on my friend’s excellent writing simply because he has enough money to buy a printing press. He had really killed her spirit, and I had to tell her: ‘Don’t let him get to you. Always remember that you are better than him – all he has is more money’. And then what I had just said hit me: it is SO true!

Temi Ogunsanya and Bolanle Austen-Peters (Two of my favourite 'aje-butters' - these two women have such a sharp business sense you would think they grew up with nothing!)

The main gist: there’s a rich-kid friend of mine (no names!) who’s ED of a big company on the Island, and has a father with legendary wealth, apart from being on first-name terms with Governors and Ministers – and no it’s not who you think, thank you very much!

Very deep and intellectual and witty; and anytime I visit her office it would be a roller coaster of fun gossip. Then I took our event for her company to sponsor.

Unfortunately she is also a disorganized person, so in between forgotten appointments, sudden trips, lost proposals and unwritten memos, one week to the event we had nothing. Plus, you know how these people are; she didn’t appreciate just how much we needed the money. I fired an sms telling her how disappointed we were about the seriousness.

My dear friend wasted no time firing an sms back calling the money ‘peanuts’ amongst other things that sought to let me understand she is so way above me on the money ladder that perhaps I should be grateful she’s even my friend.

It was so predictable I could almost laugh: it came to a battle of wills, and she took that easy way out! You can’t blame her; others do and get away with it, because they are usually dealing with people who are already insecure about their relative poverty (whether they confess it or not). It’s like what impotent rich men do; they can’t get the girl the good old woo-her way, so they use the cheque book. It is actually a sign of weakness. Ultimately, a display of powerlessness.

But I didn’t expect it from her. I was so shocked in fact that I sent off what was actually a cowered response (very unlike me, I assure you). Emilia flew into a rage and said I had to send a stronger reply! I should have, but didn’t.

Then a few days ago, I read that text again and realized that truly, the insult couldn’t go without an adequate response, and so I drafted one – I let her know her reply was tasteless. And I was ready for war!

My friend, however, floored me. She might have taken the easy road at first, but then there are those who have money and no substance and there are those who have both, and she is one of the latter. She sent me an sms, this time, with apologies and a coherent explanation (in fact going too far in the apology by exaggerating and calling me a “great writer!”). I was gob smacked, but I was also greatly relieved; it means I wasn’t wrong about her after all.

That’s it really: by all means, use your money – but use it only where it matters: if you want a loan, by all means let them that you have collateral; but not when it comes to stuff like inter-personal relationships … you can never be better than the other person by reason of the fact that you have more clothes, more shoes or a better perfume bottle. Oprah says it best, no matter how rich she is, she is still the same person – only in better shoes.

The Wisest Woman on Earth!!!


People cover up their inadequacies with money. In fact, certain people make money just to cover up their inadequacies! An illiterate will make more money in order to be able to employ literate people so as to be able to ride roughshod over them; but you see, he might be able to do that, yes, but he will still always feel inferior to them - always.

I had course to ask myself recently: why was there that obsession at the beginning of my career to belong in ‘the crowd’? The answer is simple: a complex; a complex that told me every waking day that because I cannot afford to be in Business Class, because I’m not in the Presidential Suite, because mine isn’t a four-wheel, I am less.

I know plenty of otherwise accomplished people who are prodded on by this intense complex. That’s why many of these Lagos Big Girls are broke I tell you! They grew up in Mushin and Ijesha and wherever else, got some good job or slept with some man and moved up to buying a house in Lekki, and instead of building something solid and investing, they want to sit in First Class with Okoya’s daughter, they want to be in Bambuddha with the Priddys, they want to ride the same cars with the Ibrus, to use the same Louis Vuitton, wear the same Tiffany Amber … for these ones, unfortunately, no matter how many contracts they win, how many awards they get, how many magazine covers they make, they will never feel good enough. And it is so, so sad.

The LOOMING Evil that is Louis Vuitton(Lol)

But you can’t really blame them. It is also the pressure of our society: a society that still talks about such crap as ‘old money’, nay a society that demands of you to live above your means to get respect! Isn’t it ironical for instance that City People columnists will yab movie stars for not driving good cars when they have none themselves?!

Before I bought my car for instance, certain people would treat me one-kain, mostly because I won’t dress up, added of course to my hatred for shoes. Yes, there was the ‘bohemian’ part of me, but there also the part of me that was earning less than the national minimum wage, yet was expected to ‘keep up with the joneses’ who were certainly earning at least 10 times what I was?

All that changed when I changed jobs, started earning some real money, and then I bought the car – the ultimate Lagos symbol that separates the poor from the climbing. Now this truly mirrors the shallowness of our society … I was still wearing my slippers and my adire, but as far as I could wave my car keys at the right angle, people who wouldn’t give a glance before began to discover some respect! It was the same me! The same stylish-less, shy, under-stated me. Only I now had a car key!

Sadly, soon you too begin to buy into the hype. It was one day, while discussing with Bola and Emilia, that I realized my self-confidence was beginning to depend on those perks – a 'big' phone, a laptop, the car etc - so that anytime I wasn’t with any of those things, I began to feel less! It would be comical if it weren’t so tragic. But of course the biggest tragedy of all is that this is the story of thousands of other people.

Something had to be done! Which is one of the reasons I accepted my Abuja posting without a fight. I also wanted to see how my self-confidence would fare, especially in a law school where you would find the hyper-wealthy daughters of some Northern millionaires in cars shiny enough to blind your eyes!

I sold off the car before leaving Lagos, and embraced the idea of a place where True Love doesn’t circulate, where the people wouldn’t have seen me on STV, and where I could only be judged on how I comported myself (which really is the beauty of school, as a leveler), what I had upstairs and how I related to other people.

There is of course still recognition here and there (and it helped that a girl I had a short crush on saw my name in the magazine!), but all I really have now is me and my self worth.

And when I win the respect of my colleagues, based only on the things that I say and do now, and when someone picks an interest, not because I swung my car key, or I just walked out of Cubes, or the person I am talking with is some major Marketing Manager, I know I made the right decision to come here and be reminded of what’s most important.

Wait! It would be an equal tragedy if anyone runs away with this saying crap like ‘money is not important’. See, there is no pride in not being able to take care of your family or yourself. That is not the point here.

By all means, strive to make money, and even I continue in my striving to make more money to buy a better car, to fly First Class, to buy even more expensive perfume, and very importantly to be able to finance my ideas and create more value, so yes please let us all make money … but, let’s say, God forbid you don’t make that money, does it mean you will live the rest of your life thinking yourself less than the moguls and the tycoons?

The thing is, money certainly means you will live a better life (even though that, of course, is debatable), but don’t think it will make you a better person. You will just end up a small man in a big car.

Sad Anna (When she made such a fool of herself at the AMA Awards; it's hard not to feel sorry for her)

Everywhere you turn, wealthy bosses are still intimidated by their brilliant staff (Re: Obasanjo and Okonjo-Iweala), insecure husbands still can’t stand high-flying wives, Anna Nicole Smith just committed suicide, Judith Regan finally got fired, J-Lo still can’t find Love, 50-year old Republican congressman Mark Foley was caught molesting 16-year old boys, George Bush is back to drinking, Mel Gibson is in rehab, Governor Ayo Fayose is still on the run … and so on and so forth. And all of these people have money. Lots of it in fact. That’s something for us all to think about.

Aww...

Hey,

Don't I just feel So loved. (Excuse me a minute whilst I wipe my eyes!), but thanks for taking out time to read that LONG piece (of course I knew it was long!)

Thanks to Jeremy for plugging it for me to the max, and of course Bella the queen of the bloggers! Thanks everyone for dropping, and thanks for saying you'll come back again!

Styl Council especially, something tells me you and me are going to have some fun in what BabsBeta calls BlogNgVille. And you know the funny thing, i was JUST thinking, like on monday, on what me and my guys could do with this whole new blog zone (for one its a PR person's heaven that we haven't tapped into yet! Do you know how many people read Jeremy and Bella daily for instance?!) - so let's keep talking! And no I didnt see that episode, but I can imagine it; that is SO Tyra!

Im, i'm based in Abuja now o! Boring-as-hell Law School remember? So i'm like the last person to help you get the tickets. Plus I'm not too sure the thingie is holding, at least not as scheduled.

Who is that person calling me a Dare groupie? You must be Gbemi's friend cos only Gbemi calls me that. Dont blame her though, I actually happen to think Dare's one of the most talented people I know.

Laspapi thanks for being the first to 'show support' By the way, the interview with FI was deep!Lol. And can anybody please reveal the long-awaited identity of Baba Alaye?!?!?!

Planned to post two things now, but I just got back from court today. Today was the last day of the BOOOORING Court Attachment (How on EARTH did RMD, Emem Ema, Ebuka and Tamilore Kuboye and the others survive this?!?!?!) and the judge decided to use today of all day's to give a long boring lecture on the beauty of the legal profession (5 Days after I FINALLY made up my mind not to practice law after a soul-killing day in the court!).

The next few days will be hell: have to pack this night, be at the airport first thing in the morning, and then have the make-or-break date with my girlfriend, where I will find if she will so remain after that date on sunday (PRAY for me!), and then of course if I come out the lucky guy, you do remember what wednesday is right? Aha. So there's all the strategising and spending to do (It's a cliche, but I love this particular year-in-year-out cliche!) Then interviews scheduled all through the week and then the palaver of "The Future..." Awards Winners After Party holding next weekend at the Miccom Gold Resorts.

But I will post before tomorrow ends, just after I brush the pieces up: one has a bit too much 'egomania' I think (Lol) and the other is a bit too long, so Babs dont worry!

Once again, thank you ALL for posting comments and see you when I post tomorrow!

Chude

P.S: Anna Nicole Smith finally kicked the bucket - and in the midst of all this 'I must be the father by force' controversy? Anyways, its our culture not to speak ill of the dead, so ... let's wait a few days!

Taking Myself Too Seriously ...

(The Incredibly Tortuous Journey Towards Opening Something As Simple As a Blog.)

I had never understood the idea of blogs. Online diaries? I mean come on, diaries are supposed to be personal!

Actually, I like snooping around people’s diaries when I can, so the idea is supposed to excite me but honestly people, aren’t diaries supposed to be about the innermost? The things we can’t possibly tell other people, those things that make us human, the secret mistakes, the pains, the unholy delights, all that stuff – and who would really, really share all that juicy stuff on … the Internet?!

It’s like the whole reality she-bang, which really is just a sham, because all we get is ‘coached’ reality. The Simple Life for instance? Does Paris really think we are so dumb we can’t see all those pranks are planned to the teeth? Or all of that grandstanding on Celebrity Big Brother in the UK (and then of course, the ‘victim’ of racism finally won, of course!)? No one gives us any ‘reality’ once the cameras are on!

So back to blogs: how many people actually read the things you have to say? With all the magazines and newspapers and books and websites (I just spent three days reading one Vanity Fair!), how many people can actually take you seriously enough to read about your everyday life, like, everyday? And why would anyone take themselves that seriously to think other people would want to read them that frequently – even if they are close friends?

So for months, I have simply dismissed the idea. Also because I knew if I ever decided to blog it would be blogging in the real sense of it, not any of all that hard work that I see my friends doing. Whoa, some people’s blogs are l-o-a-d-e-d! All the work that Wole Oguntokun (laspapi), Tolu Ogunlesi (Some long name I can’t repeat here), Bella Naija and Molara Wood put into their blogs? So I didn’t want to jump in with the delightfully shallow and then look … well, shallow!

Even if I finally decided to do the shallow online diary (which I am finally doing, thank you very much!), I have never had a good record with diaries. Which is very surprising because I would think myself – I who likes to talk to myself – a diary person. But every time I have started, I have given up after a few days. I would forget to put entries some days, other times I would have too much to say, or I would simply lose the diary. I tried to start one on my computer, and … well, my former laptop packed up with it all and I never had the heart to start again.

The reason for the failure is simple really. Diaries are for the future, and I am not a ‘future’ person, sorry. I am one for the present. An interviewer once asked me: ‘Are you doing all these things now because you want to put your name in history for future generations?” And I promptly answered, “I am not doing anything for future generations, no. That would be an unintended consequence. I am doing all these things because I WANT to do them, because they make me HAPPY, because I feel fulfilled this way, because I want to be a force to reckon with in MY generation – in the NOW. Period. It’s nothing about the future.” She laughed – said something like “you’re one funny guy”, but, even though I joined in her laughter, I wasn’t joking.

So going through all that trouble doing something that would have no relevance until some indeterminate time in the future?? (Sigh).


I'm here for the NOW, people!


I have always told myself I might regret this, in like 20 years, when I decide to write some kind of autobiography and have no material, especially since I am not good with memories (a lot of what happened in primary school I can’t really remember), but really … I mean, really!

The reasons pile. I’ve been able to avoid for the past one year, really feeling passionate about some of the ills in Nigeria’s politics especially. I can really get emotional about this stuff (tear-jacking emotion about, say, Peter Obi being impeached I tell you!) and I am sure that has to be unhealthy. But I know that having a blog to vent will do just that – make me vent!

This is especially because I am afraid that when I do start writing, I won’t be able to stop! I will want to talk about what’s happening in Oyo, what’s happening in Anambra, what’s happening in the national assembly, what’s happening at the Aviation ministry, the madness of Maurice Iwu, the incompetence of Sunday Ehindero, the small-mindedness of Mr. President … every friggin boring thingie!

So I had good enough reasons, yet with each fantastic log entry I read, and as more people began to open web logs, the idea lured me stronger. I mean, even my former boss, Funmi Iyanda has a blog! Even a Governor, Donald Duke, couldn’t resist the temptation! So what do I think I am?!

But that wasn’t all that convinced me to change my mind. Another reason is, I am going to be bored in the next few months, I know. I brought it upon myself actually; because whilst other sane people like fellow student Temitayo Etomi (www.projectvotenigeria.org) chose to do Law School in Lagos, I decided I had had enough of the Lagos craze and interviewing celebrities with over-sized egos and wanted to go somewhere quiet. I am enjoying the paced life don’t doubt me, but it still can get boring for someone like me. Plus, I can’t officially work (you leave them to be fooling themselves! Yes I know I can’t leave the premises because lectures are from 8 to 4pm, BUT, for me, Chude, not to do any kind of work for more than one month? Tufia!); and after “The Future…” Awards (www.thefuturenigeria.com) I know I just have to have something like a blog, so my life won’t be like it’s on pause, after all the writing activity of the past few months.

The Limo dropping Ebuka and Phummy (Comperes) at the venue of the Awards ...



I think that’s what finally nailed it for me, especially knowing I had to end my Just Jisting column on the website upon the successful hosting of the magnificent event. That column was like my personal blog at the time (since the other directors of RedSTRAT were too busy to write) and I really enjoyed all the feedback that I got for even what I thought were the most boring pieces.


Me and the other Directors (They are also my best friends.)


Us, at the event ...(Thanks to our clothiers!)


So I toyed with starting a column. In fact, I had actually started the discussions. But, believe me, columns are work: you have deadlines, and then you have editors breathing down your neck. And then you always have to have a point with columns, and sometimes I just want to be pointless! Added to the fact that, with blogs, you can decide not to write when you have nothing to write and no one bugs you! Plus there is no editor to cut off some of the things that you really wanted people to read! And of course there is the added advantage of not needing to be on the right side of English grammar, especially as concerns punctuations!

So I finally made the decision. But trust me, I had to make it even harder for myself, so I began to search for a blog that would have passwords, so that only my friends would be able to have access into it. I found something like that, but the wahala was too much. Don’t blame me, I had to be assure my serious-minded alter ego that I tried. Not finding what I was looking for, I’m sure you’ve guessed, slowed me down.

I finally made the decision some days ago, when I was chatting online with two of my former best pals. Even though this is supposed to be a diary, I can’t reveal the conversation we had, dear diary, but suffice it to say we finally convinced ourselves to create blogs and so we did!

Fact: human beings are basically suicidal. Because, very coincidentally, the day I finally decided to create this blog, of all days, that was the same day Tyra Banks (sometimes I love that show, sometimes I want to scratch her eyes out!) had a woman on her show who was fired from her job for saying too much on her blog! (She also revealed that 80,000 new blogs are opened everyday.)

Was God trying to send me a message? I d-o-n-t think so. Because I didn’t listen. And I usually listen to God. So this wasn’t God. I had already made up my mind. And you know… maybe if it were Oprah, I would have convinced myself it was a divine message. But Trya? Tyra of the plastic smiles and too much make up?

So, very quickly, I went and opened the blog. I didn’t put anything on it for like three days. Until now. But at least I knew I’d opened it!

Well, here’s the blog people! Will it be worth all that wahala and mind twisting? Your guess really is as good as mine. But for whatever its worth, here it is. I have joined the mad crowd! I am a blogger! I have succumbed to the temptation to listen my own voice! I am NO different from the rest of the exhibitionist generation! Hip Hip Hurray!

Like I said, I do not know if it will turn out such a good idea, so I will stuck with what I know. I know for instance that I am sticking with my name for the blog for the simple reason that, it will consistently remind me that my cover is blown, and so I will have to be careful with my BIG MOUTH!


Big Mouth! (at one of our Rubbing Minds events)


I also know that I will try to be as unpretentious as is possible in a society that idolizes the pretentious. I know too that I will have as much fun as can be possible doing this. I won’t say I will be ‘true to myself’ (abeeegi! how many of us are even true to ourselves when we are alone with ourself on our beds?!), I will only promise to be.

So, amongst other things, the few people who know me, but don’t really know me will find that I am NOT a one-dimensional ‘serious-minded’ person. Therefore, alcohol and strip clubs and all night partying might not be my thing, but I assure you that girls and dancing, loud music and SENSELESS noisemaking would turn out a huge part of what would qualify as ‘my thing’.

So let’s see how this goes eh? Oh and by the way I’m one of those weird people who actually welcome negative comments and both constructive and un-constructive criticism. So, don’t pull your punches! Welcome to my blog.